


The Journey

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-21
Updated: 2006-03-21
Packaged: 2019-02-02 01:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Some journeys in life aren't always the ones we expect to take!





	The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: This fic deals with disability.  


* * *

Five years is a long time Major Samantha Carter thought to herself as she gazed out of the plane window at the fluffy white clouds below.

It had actually been only 3 years since she had finally left the SGC to return to a post at the Pentagon but, with the benefit of hindsight, it had been 5 years since Daniel's problems had started manifesting themselves. Although slow and insidious it had eventually become obvious to everyone that he could no longer function as a member of SG1.

It was at that point that Jack had requested a desk job and T'ealc, realising that SG1 was being disbanded, had requested permission to leave earth to work with the Tok'ra. Sam had been devastated but, after leading SG10 for a year, she realised that the SGC would just never be the same again and when an important post at the Pentagon became vacant she had, after mulling it over for days and consulting with General Hammond and her old Commanding Officer, Jack O'Neill, applied for the position and got the job.

She had promised faithfully to keep in touch with her old colleagues at the SGC but telephone calls became less frequent as she became immersed in her new life until one day she found herself looking at some old photographs and realising just how much she missed them all.

She had been in regular contact with Janet Fraiser and her adopted daughter Cassie over the years, but apart from the usual exchange of Christmas and Birthday cards and the occasional phone call Sam hadn't actually touched base with Jack and Daniel since the day she left Cheyenne Mountain. It had seemed easier just to push them, and their problems, to the back of her mind and concentrate on her 'new' life.

The 'fasten seat belt sign, lit up and Sam prepared herself for a reunion with her old friends, however painful it might be.

* * *

"Jack you're going to be late" Daniel chided as he manoeuvred his electric wheelchair into the bedroom.

The past 5 years had been kind to Jack O'Neill in some ways. He still maintained a trim, muscular body and, although his hair was greyer and his face had more wrinkles, he was still considered a very attractive man by most of the women within the Cheyenne Mountain complex. In other ways he felt years older. His back and knees were painful most of the time, a legacy of his past career in special ops and his present role as chief carer to his partner Dr Daniel Jackson.

"Daniel don't fuss" Jack continued to adjust his uniform until he was satisfied he looked every inch the dashing Air Force Colonel. He turned to face his partner.

"Will I do?"

"You look great Jack" Daniel smiled as he moved his chair forward and released the joystick so that he could reach forward to brush a speck of fluff off Jack's trousers "Now go before you miss her."

Jack snapped his heels together and gave Daniel a mock salute "Yes Sir."

He bent to pick up his car keys from the dresser "you sure you'll be OK?" he asked a frown marring his handsome rugged features.

"Jack we've been through this" Daniel sighed "I'll be just fine, now go." Daniel moved the Quickie P100 electric wheelchair forward and followed Jack to the front door. Jack opened the door and then bent down and planted a kiss on his partner's lips before leaving for the airport.

"Take care Daniel," he warned as he prepared to close the door behind him.

Daniel pursed his lips and blew a kiss in the direction of the closed door and then, satisfied that Jack was finally on his way to pick Sam up; Daniel propelled himself into the house to check that everything was ready for the couple's special guest.

It wasn't often Daniel got the house to himself and he intended to revel in the peace and quiet until Jack returned with their guest. Jack and Daniel had a well-planned routine for their daily lives. Jack worked at the SGC most days in an advisory capacity. On good days Daniel would go in with him and work in his office but on bad days Jack could call the agency they used and a carer would be despatched to take care of Daniel's needs until Jack returned home. Today was, thank goodness Daniel thought, a 'good day.' He had been able to manage with Jack's assistance to get up, shower, dress and settle in his chair for the day. Daniel had christened it his 'wimp' chair when he had finally admitted that he was too weak to propel a manual wheelchair and with its arm rests, batteries, foam filled tyres, automatic brakes and joystick it afforded Daniel a measure of independence.

Hearing Jack's car pull out of the drive Daniel propelled the chair into the kitchen first to check that the meal Jack had prepared was simmering away nicely. He smiled wryly to himself knowing full well that if things were not doing OK he was powerless to do anything about it.

Over the years since Daniel first received a firm diagnosis for the physical symptoms he was suffering his condition had steadily deteriorated. He and Jack and talked long and hard about the future with Daniel begging Jack to put him in a care home once things got to a certain stage. Jack had stubbornly refused to consider any such thing and had learned, as Daniel's illness progressed, how to raise his bulk from the bed and manoeuvre him from one location to another, how to thrust long and awkward arms and legs into sleeves and pants, how to wash him, clean his teeth, cut his nails, monitor his bladder and kidneys for infection, check his buttocks for signs of decubiti and how to load him into the van and tie him down in order to transport him anywhere. The insidious onset of the symptoms had meant that Jack had coped with all these tasks to a greater degree as time had gone on.

Daniel moved slowly around the house checking each room before Jack arrived back from the airport with Sam. They were both looking forward to seeing her again and hearing all her news. Jack had contacted T'ealc and hopefully the former members of SG1 could get together again for a meal at O'Malley's before Sam had to get back to work in Washington.

* * *

Jack arrived at the airport just as Sam's flight checked in and he didn't have long to wait in the Arrivals Lounge before he saw his old 2IC walking towards him.

If the past few years had been kind to Jack O'Neill they had been even kinder to Major Samantha Carter. As she walked towards him Jack could see a few heads turning in her direction. She wasn't in uniform but dressed casually in beige linen trousers and a crisp white cotton shirt, her blond hair cropped and shining. Jack smiled and waved remembering a time some years ago when he thought he might have harboured some feelings for his teammate. She was certainly a very attractive woman but his lot in life had finally been cast with a geeky archaeologist becoming the love of his life and Jack O'Neill didn't regret it for one moment despite how things had turned out for them both.

Sam finally arrived in front of her old commanding officer and dropped her bag and flung her arms around Jack O'Neill. He returned her hug warmly. It was great to see her again. He pushed her away for a moment to get a good look at her.

"Sam you look great" he smiled pulling her back into another bear hug.

"You too Sir" she murmured into his neck, as he held her close.

"Drop the Sir Sam," he ordered gently as he released her and bent down to retrieve her abandoned bag and then led the way to the parking lot.

"How's Daniel?" Sam asked as they settled themselves in the car.

Jack was quiet for a moment. How did you answer a question like that? He could detail Daniel's physical problems; having to spend his time either in a wheelchair or in bed, legs that didn't work, a left arm that hardly works at all any more and a right one growing weaker. Daniel was finding it more and more difficult to raise a fork or cup to his lips and bladder problems meant a catheter was going to be the next big step or he could focus on Daniel's mental state. He made his decision.

"He's doing good Sam" Jack admitted, for despite all Daniel's physical problems he was actually doing 'good' mentally and psychologically. It hadn't always been so Jack remembered. At first Daniel had refused to accept the diagnosis both Janet Fraiser and various other specialists had given him. He had stubbornly refused to cut back on his workload and had doggedly continued to work as a member of SG1. His team mates were all aware of his problems and did all they could to help him, without his knowledge until it eventually became clear to everyone that things couldn't continue as they were.

It had started with headaches, Daniel was used to these and managed to dose himself with Tylenol and ignore the fact that they were getting worse and that his vision was blurry, even more so than usual, he even changed the prescription of his glasses but it didn't help. He started to feel exhausted most of the time, suffered from bouts of vertigo and when he started limping for no apparent reason Jack had finally lost his temper and insisted Daniel have a full medical check. At first Daniel's symptoms had been attributed to a possible brain tumour but tests ruled this out much to their relief but the eventual diagnosis had been devastating. Jack could still remember sitting in General Hammond's office with Dr Fraiser and Dr Warner listening as the life sentence was passed on his friend and colleague.

"And what about you?" Sam asked carefully, watching her old CO carefully knowing his answer might not be the whole truth. He looked older than when she had left the SGC. He was still a fine figure of a man but the pain and suffering he had endured on behalf of his partner were etched on his face for all to see.

"I'm fine, Daniel's fine, we're both fine" Jack chanted, concentrating on the road ahead and avoiding eye contact with Sam.

"Jack" Sam waited

"We have a good life together Sam, not the one we had hoped for granted but we manage." He paused and risked a glance at his old friend. He saw the pity in her eyes and both hated and loved her for it.

"OK it's tough sometimes" he finally admitted "but if the choice was to have Daniel as a partner as he is now or not have him at all then I'd still take what we have now."

Sam smiled at Jack and he returned it "I mean it Sam, I really do," he admitted.

She nodded, she knew how important Daniel had become to Jack long before she had left the SGC and Janet and kept her up to date with what was going on between them. She had no problem with their relationship, it was their business and frankly she was just glad that her two best friends were now a couple. She just wished things could have turned out better for Daniel.

* * *

Dr Fraiser had described Daniel's condition as a demyelinating syndrome of unknown etiology, basically multiple sclerosis. She had been unable to meet Jack's eye as she gave the diagnosis. Jack's blood had literally run cold in his veins as the sentence was passed. He was vaguely aware of Dr Warner taking over and explaining that sclerotic patches, or plaque, where nerve sheath has been destroyed and scar tissue has formed in its place had appeared throughout Daniel's brain and spinal cord. Jack had finally managed to get enough moisture back into his dry mouth to croak out some questions that were spinning through his mind.

"Does Daniel know?"

"Not yet" Janet replied softly "We wondered whether you wanted to be there," she paused, raising her face and her eyes, bright with unshed tears, meeting Jack's.

He nodded mutely. He could at least do that for his friend though how Daniel was going to take the news he hardly dare think. As Jack sat there is a daze, trying to digest the terrible news General Hammond asked the questions that Jack wanted answers to but was unable, at this time, to formulate.

"What is the prognosis for the future doctors?" General Hammond asked. He was equally devastated by the news but years of experience as a Base Commander made him more able to step back from his personal feelings and function on a professional level.

Dr Warner took it upon himself to answer the questions, realising that Janet Fraiser was too personally involved with the patient to be able to deal with these at the moment.

"Dr Jackson's condition is degenerative" he began reading from the file in front of him and trying to avoid the strained faces around the table. He explained, Multiple Sclerosis is a disease of the central nervous system. It may affect any or all of its subsystems, each of which comprises a complex array of nerves controlling everything from whether your eyes can steadily follow a moving finger to whether your toes curl when a sharp object is scraped along the sole of the foot."

Dr Warner paused to let his words sink in before continuing

"For a firm diagnosis to be made the disease must, more than once, cause discernible damage in more than once place in this vast constellation of nerves. In Dr Jackson's case the initial problem of optic neuritis was followed some months later by an upper motor neurone lesion and these two separate symptoms confirm the diagnosis."

"So he's going to get worse?" Jack raised his steely grey eyes to look Dr Warner straight in the face. He wanted to know the worst now so that he could deal with it.

"Give it to me straight Doc" he ordered, his hands gripped tightly together under the table.

"No two sufferers will have the same symptoms," Dr Warner continued. There are various forms of the disease but we think Dr Jackson has the chronic-progressive form."

Jack looked puzzled and Dr Warner explained

"Dr Jackson will deteriorate progressively. In other forms of MS such as a milder relapsing-remitting form the patient will suffer various symptoms for a while but then enjoy periods of remission. I am afraid this will not be the case with Dr Jackson, his symptoms have shown no signs of remission and he is steadily deteriorating."

Jack dropped his head so that the others around the table wouldn't see the tears forming. He took a deep breath; he had to be strong if not for himself then for his stricken friend.

"How bad will it get?" he asked

"No one knows" Janet chipped in, taking over from Dr Warner. She could hardly bear it herself but she wanted to be the one to explain things to Jack. She knew how close he and Daniel were. She had her suspicions that they were closer than anyone else knew but had kept these to herself. She would be there for the pair of them when they needed her. Jack needed her now and so she continued.

"For some reason, perhaps an aberrant response to an ordinary viral or bacterial infection the immune system apparently begins to 'think' of the myelin, the fatty substance that sheathes the nerves, as an alien invader to be destroyed."

Jack winced at the terminology used to describe Daniel's illness, alien invaders, trust them to be part of this he thought caustically.

"Without their protective coating the nerves short-circuit, rather as electrical wires do, and when scar tissue forms where the myelin has been eaten away, the signals can't get through."

"Surely there's something you can give him," Jack pleaded looking from one doctor to the other; the expression on their faces gave him the answer he didn't want to hear.

"Some drugs have shown promise in reducing attacks in the relapsing-remitting MS but, because the disease can't be halted outright, it is invariably degenerative although at widely differing rates" Janet continued to explain.

As so what had begun as an uphill struggle against headaches, blurred vision, vertigo and a slight weakness in his left leg, turned into a long slow slide downwards actually as well as metaphorically for Daniel.

At first he just had to contend with the blurred vision and days when he was so exhausted he could hardly drag himself out of bed. The limp got worse until he was fitted with a plastic brace to prevent him tripping over his own toes. Despite this he had several falls, some of which Jack O'Neill was aware of and some Daniel hid from him. Daniel was removed from SG1 and took up a new role as Resident Archaeologist and Linguist, working from his office studying the alien texts and artefacts the SG teams brought back. He insisted on remaining in his own flat stubbornly managing alone until one day when the lifts failed and he found himself totally unable to climb the stairs to his apartment. He had sat on the cold dark stairs for hours until he had finally admitted defeat and had called Jack on his cell phone. He had been 'rescued' and taken back to Jack's house to thaw out and listen to a lecture on how irresponsible he was by living in a penthouse apartment when he couldn't even manage the stairs. Daniel gave in and moved in with Jack O'Neill. Their relationship had grown over the years from instant dislike when they had first met, through tolerance of each others differing personalities, to friendship and finally, more surprising to them than to their colleagues, to lovers and finally to living together as a couple.

* * *

Jack pulled up outside the house and retrieved Sam's bags from the trunk while she got out of the car and looked around.

"This is nice" she commented, never having visited the house before. At first Daniel had moved into Jack's old house but as his condition had deteriorated and he had needed to use a wheelchair they had realised they had problems with access and so together they had bought a new bungalow nearer to the Base which was adapted for Daniel's needs and near enough to the Base for Jack to be able to get there and back easily.

"Yeah, it suits us" Jack admitted following her gaze to the bright bungalow with its neat lawns and ramps.

"Come on, Daniel's dying to see you" Jack called over his shoulder as he led the way up to the front door. Sam followed him in trepidation, her heart was thumping. She was longing to see Daniel but knew he wouldn't be the Daniel she had left 3 years ago. She took a deep breath and followed Jack to the door.

* * *

When Sam had finally left the SGC for the Pentagon Daniel was still mobile. Granted he was wearing a leg brace, walking with a cane and tired easily but he was still managing to work pretty much full-time at the SGC and live alone, albeit with plenty of visits from the rest of SG1. Over the years things had steadily deteriorated as had been predicted. Daniel was now confined to his electric wheelchair unless he was in bed. He still had sensation to pain, temperature and touch and luckily was free from tremors. On a good day he was able to stand for short periods with assistance although he couldn't manage to take a step. His left arm and hand were now practically useless and the right one was getting weaker. He used a voice-activated computer for his work and a speaker had been fitted to the telephone. His general day-to-day care was split between his partner and a team of carers.

Daniel had always steadfastly refused to accept help from any one other than Jack or one of the carers from the agency. He couldn't help but feel deeply embarrassed about anyone who held him in any sort of affection dealing with his bodily needs other than his partner in life and as Daniel had gradually become used to being totally dependent on Jack, neither was embarrassed by this. It would be been easier on Jack if he could have handed the reigns over to Janet Fraiser or one of their other friends occasionally but Daniel insisted that no one who 'loved' him should feel thereby obliged to deal with his physical needs. Jack couldn't understand Daniel's logic but respected his partner's wishes and so life continued, getting harder as time went by.

Once settled in his chair Daniel refused to class himself as 'disabled.' He had to admit he couldn't open doors, reach high shelves, lift anything heavier than a paperback book or even write a cheque himself but although most physical acts were denied him he concentrated on his emotional and intellectual abilities. He gave seminars to new recruits to the SGC, was always available for advice or encouragement to his team of archaeologists and linguists and he had become a good listener. People found it easy to bring their problems to Daniel knowing he would listen and counsel but never judge.

At first Daniel had preferred to withdraw from his friends and colleagues aware he aroused dismay, fear and pity and wishing to avoid the perceived indignity of his condition. He finally realised that disappearance wouldn't change anything and eventually people became accustomed to his presence and accepted him for what he now was. It had all taken time but day by day and inch by painful inch Daniel had reached the stage he was now at both physically and, more important, mentally.

In the early stages of his illness he had tried to imagine a boundary of suffering and loss beyond which life would no longer be worth living. He now realised that his boundary, far from being etched in stone, had inched across the sands of life. He had imagined he would never be able to do without long walks, being able to go through the Stargate, driving himself wherever he wanted to go. He couldn't imagine using a cane, a brace, a wheelchair, letting someone else dress and undress him yet, one at a time, with the love and encouragement of his friends and his partner in life, he had taken each of these figurative steps. Now Daniel was not sure where his boundary lay. He imagined when he reached it he would know. He did, however, harbour one fear, that one day Jack would find out he was not worth the struggle. Meanwhile he continued to go on being the man he thought he could never bear to be.

* * *

Jack opened the door and dropped Sam's bags as he called out

"Daniel?" He had been slightly worried about leaving Daniel totally alone even for a couple of hours while he went to the airport. He had wanted to get one of the carers from the Agency but Daniel had insisted he could manage on his own.

"What am I going to do Jack?" he had asked, waving his good arm around the compact world of his chair.

Jack had shaken his head "Daniel you can be so god dam stubborn." He had eventually given in once Daniel had promised not to try to do anything by himself, even so he was glad they were back, he hated leaving his lover unattended. He hadn't asked for the role of carer but now he had it he took his duties very seriously and whatever else was going on Daniel was always, and would always be, his number one priority.

Jack heard the motor of Daniel's chair before he actually saw his partner and he turned smiling towards the sound. Daniel had been positioned at the window watching for Jack's return and as soon as he heard the key in the lock he had propelled himself into the hallway to meet his lover and their friend and guest.

Jack bent and gave Daniel a kiss, stroking his neck before moving aside to allow Daniel and Sam to greet one another.

"Daniel" Sam's voice broke as she knelt down and flung her arms around her old friend. They held one another tight, or rather Sam hugged Daniel and he, in response, dropped his head on her shoulder and raised his good arm to cradle her head.

To say Sam was shocked at the sight of her old friend would have been an understatement. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight of the once healthy and fit young archaeologist now slumped in an electric wheelchair. He was still the handsome young man she remembered, if you ignored the useless body he was now trapped in. He wasn't wearing his glasses now but Sam realised from what Janet had told her that his eyesight was poor even with them now.

Eventually they pulled apart so they could gaze at each other. Both had tears in their eyes, Sam gave an embarrassed giggle and wiped her eyes, then realising Daniel's predicament she leaned over and wiped the tears from his eyes also. Jack sniffed and coughed to clear his throat "You two have some catching up to do, I'll see how dinner's doing," he announced leaving the two old friends together.

Jack knew how difficult it would be for Sam to see Daniel like this. He had had time to get used to things gradually but nothing, not even the regular updates Sam had received from Janet and Cassie, would have prepared her for seeing Daniel face to face for the first time in 3 years. He went into the kitchen and set about preparing a salad to give the two young people time to start to rebuild their friendship.

"Sit down Sam" Daniel ordered waving her towards the couch before propelling himself in its direction himself. Sam got up and followed Daniel to the couch and sank gratefully into its cushions. She hadn't felt so nervous for a long time; she hoped Daniel wouldn't notice how her legs and hands were shaking.

"Oh Daniel it's great to see you again" Sam smiled at her old friend and reached over to touch the hand lying motionless in his lap.

"You too Sam" Daniel responded looking at his friend, drinking in the pretty face he had missed for the past few years. Daniel had never confessed to anyone the depth of loss he had felt when Sam had moved to Washington. He understood her reasons for going and was pleased for her but she was like a big sister to him and he had missed her dreadfully. They had had so much in common when they first met and worked on SG1 together. They could spend hours together discussing their work each feeding off the other and bouncing ideas back and forth. Despite having Jack and all his other friends and colleagues around him there had always been an empty place in his heart.

"I've missed you so much" he whispered.

Sam was taken aback, the old Daniel would never have admitted to such a thing, but she was touched as the tears that pooled in her blue eyes confirmed.

She shook her head "I'm so sorry Daniel" she couldn't look at him "forgive me please." She waited, not raising her head, for his blessing and was not disappointed.

"Sam please" he begged, putting his hand under her chin and raising her head so that their eyes met "there's nothing to forgive."

Sam started to argue with him. She had been wrong, she shouldn't have moved away and abandoned her 'little brother' when he needed her the most. She had told herself that she had her career to think about and that Daniel would be safe with Jack O'Neill but recently she had realised that work alone wasn't enough and she needed her 'family' as well and Janet Fraiser had confirmed that they needed her too.

Daniel's voice broke into her daydream "Tell me about Washington" he ordered. Sam laughed, "what do you want to know?" she asked.

"Boyfriends?" Trust Daniel to go straight for the jugular Sam thought.

"No one special" she admitted. Daniel waited his blue eyes searching her soul.

"I mean it Daniel" she laughed "just a few meaningless flings" Daniel started to look interested, "but I'm not giving you any details" she insisted.

They laughed together, easy in each other's company once more. They had fit back together like a pair of old gloves and Jack O'Neill heard their laughter from the kitchen and thanked God.

* * *

Sam and Daniel continued to talk together until the doorbell rang and without waiting for an answer, Janet Fraiser popped her head around the door.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Janet" Sam exclaimed jumping to her feet and enveloping her old friend in a hug. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."

Janet laughed, "Jack thought I could make up a foursome," she explained as he came in from the kitchen at the sound of her voice.

"Janet, glad you could make it" he smiled, taking the bottle of wine she held out to him. Once relieved of the bottle she shrugged off her coat and flung it onto the nearest chair before bending down and kissing Daniel soundly.

"Is dinner nearly ready, I'm starving?" she asked looking at the circle of friends ready to sense any tension in the atmosphere.

"Just about to serve up" Jack replied, "shall we?" he motioned for everyone to move to the table. He showed Sam and Janet to their seats and waited while Daniel manoeuvred himself into position at the table before removing the lids from the serving dishes.

"Dig in everyone" he ordered, moving to fill the wine glasses from the bottle Janet had brought.

It was a lovely meal and the wine had helped ease the little tension there was around the table. Sam, being unused to Daniel's condition, felt a little embarrassed as she watched Jack cut Daniel's food for him and help him lift his glass of wine to his lips. Janet had joined the couple for meals on many occasions and Jack and Daniel had gotten so used to their way of life that they sometimes forgot how it might seem to outsiders.

They had filled Sam in on all the gossip at the SGC and Sam had told them a few tales about the Pentagon and soon the meal was over. Jack glanced at Daniel and could see, from experience, that he was tiring.

"Bed Daniel?" Jack asked and Daniel nodded gratefully. It was frustrating that anything outside the normal routine left him totally exhausted but he was used to it.

"We'll clear up" Janet promised, draining her glass and starting to gather the dirty plates together "won't we Sam?"

"It's the least we can do after such a lovely meal," Sam agreed and so Jack left them to the dishes and followed Daniel into the bedroom.

Janet and Sam soon had the kitchen set to rights and then they set the coffee percolator to brew and sank down on the couch each clutching a glass of brandy.

"Well, what do you think?" Janet went straight to the point. She knew how nervous Sam had been about coming back to visit and was keen to know how things had gone.

"Oh Janet" Sam's eyes filled with tears again and she brushed them away furiously "It's not fair" she whispered.

"No it's not" Janet agreed sipping her brandy "but if Jack and Daniel can accept it and get on with life so can you" she said firmly, ignoring the tears threatening to fall.

Sam nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and took a swig of her brandy.

* * *

In the bedroom Jack put the well-used routine into practice and soon had Daniel tucked up in bed. Unable to dress or undress himself Daniel had once quipped about moving somewhere hot so that clothing wouldn't be needed at all but Jack had reminded him that perhaps he didn't look all that attractive naked anymore. Daniel had laughed easily at this observation and allowed Jack to manoeuvre his arms and legs in and out of the appropriate garments.

Jack adjusted the pillows until Daniel was comfortable and then he lay down on the bed next to his lover and nuzzled Daniel's neck. This was the time of day Jack and Daniel liked the best, when all the problems of the day were behind them and tomorrow's problems were still out of reach. In the peaceful oasis they had created for themselves in this room they could revel in their love, enjoying just being together Jack and Daniel, a couple, soul mates. In this room there wasn't an aging Air Force Colonel and a disabled archaeologist, there was just the pure love of two people who had found their perfect partner in life.

It had taken a long time to come to this acceptance. Daniel had found it hard to believe that Jack was at peace with his crippled body in a way he was not and it was Jack's attentive and affectionate presence that eventually provided Daniel with proof against the revulsion with which he was too apt to greet himself. He had convinced himself that disability put him out of the sexual running and that he was more likely to be viewed as a problem rather than as a sex object. Jack had spent months proving to Daniel that he still found him desirable. Their bodies held few mysteries for one another because of the routines of care giving but this didn't seem to diminish their attraction for each other. Love making was possible, though not vitally important anymore, the couple benefited from the most mundane interactions, a kiss, a light touch, a meeting of eyes across the room, each of these actions confirmed their love for one another and strengthened the bond between them.

"Sam looks great doesn't she?" Daniel murmured sleepily as Jack massaged his shoulders.

"Yeah she does" Jack agreed. He leaned over and kissed Daniel gently on the lips and Daniel responded eagerly raising his arm to pull Jack closer. Jack felt the tingling of arousal, he opened his eyes and looked closely at Daniel but seeing the dark smudges under his eyes and the pale cheeks he pulled away and planted a lingering kiss on Daniel's forehead.

"The spirit may be willing Dr Jackson but I fear the flesh is weak" he quipped as he got off the bed and handed Daniel the control panel which would allow him to raise or lower the head or foot of the bed at will.

Daniel giggled and nodded his agreement before closing his eyes and allowing his exhaustion to carry him off to sleep.

Jack watched his lover sleep for a few minutes before tiptoeing back into the living room to see what the girls were up to.

Sam was sitting on the couch with her shoes off and her feet propped up on the coffee table. She had her head resting on the cushions and her eyes were closed but at the sound of Jack closing the bedroom door she jumped up.

"Coffee?" she asked reaching for the coffee pot.

"Where's Janet?" Jack asked looking around.

"She's got an early shift tomorrow" Sam handed Jack a mug of coffee and sat back down on the couch "She said thanks and goodnight."

Jack accepted the mug and sat down opposite Sam. They sat in companionable silence for a while until Sam broke it.

"How does he cope" she asked and then qualified it by adding, "how do you cope?"

Jack set his mug down on the table and rested his elbows on his knees. He shook his head "I don't know Sam truly" he admitted. He paused for a few moments "when the neurologist diagnosed Daniel's multiple sclerosis he told us that he had a normal life expectancy."

Sam waited

"What he didn't have to tell us was that we wouldn't have a 'normal' life, at least not the one we had prepared ourselves to live."

Jack lay back in the chair and watched Sam's reactions. He had to know that Sam could cope, he was already being strong for two people and emotionally he couldn't take on board Sam's inability to cope with Daniel's condition as well.

"When we realised that Daniel was going to be 'disabled' more severely as time went on neither of us had any idea how to live such a life. There were so many unanswered questions, could he still function as a member of the SGC, would I be able to accept Daniel's increasing dependence on me, would Daniel even want to live to find out the answers."

Sam gasped but Jack pressed on.

"It's a stage that has to be worked through Sam" Jack reminded her. Daniel was depressed for a time, he wanted to die, wanted me to promise to help him die if things got too much for him. He felt total hopelessness at the situation he found himself in and hated the fact that I was in it with him and refused to leave."

"And now?" Sam asked quietly.

"And now with lots of counselling and lots of love" he is" Jack paused and correct himself "we are accepting of the situation as it is now."

"And if" Sam stopped as a sob caught in her throat "and when things change, then what?"

Jack shrugged "we work through it".

Sam got up and moved over to Jack's chair. She knelt down and took his hands in hers.

"Yes we do," she whispered and Jack nodded his understanding. Sam was back she would be there for them again.

* * *

Both Jack and Daniel enjoyed having Sam's presence with them in their home. Over the course of the next few days they renewed their friendship on many levels. Janet and Cassie were regular visitors and Sam was envious of Cassie's easy manner with Daniel. It was obvious to Sam that the teenager didn't suffer the same embarrassment Sam did when dealing with him. Sam watched carefully as she held a drink to Daniel's lips, knowing instinctively when he wanted another sip of coffee, if a useless foot slipped of the footrest of the chair Cassie would bend down, and continuing whatever conversation she was having, would gently lift it back into place. Sam asked Janet about this one day as they sat on the porch sipping a glass of wine while Daniel and Cassie helped Jack prepare their evening meal.

"Cassie has been around Daniel constantly since his illness was first diagnosed" Janet reminded her "She has adapted to every different stage of his condition without question."

"You must be very proud of her" Sam swirled the wine around in her glass.

"Yes I am" Janet was proud to admit, she reached across and took Sam's hand in hers "and I'm very proud of you too" she said meeting Sam's sad blue eyes.

"I'm ashamed of myself" Sam whispered, "I should never have left."

"Rubbish" you took a wonderful opportunity when it was offered" Janet reminded her. "If Daniel had been fit and well you wouldn't have thought twice about leaving would you?"

"Maybe not" Sam considered "but he wasn't fit and well was he?"

"No" Janet paused considering carefully how to proceed, she decided.

"Do you think Daniel wants to be treated as normally as possible Sam?"

"Yes" Sam answered wondering where Janet was leading.

"If you had stayed at the SGC because Daniel was ill don't you think he might have held it against you?" she waited for a moment allowing Sam to consider this concept before continuing "and don't you think you might have held it against him?"

Sam looked at her friend horrified at what she was suggesting. Janet held her finger up forcing Sam to really consider her answer before replying.

Sam took a sip of her wine and gazed unseeing at the garden laid out in front of her. The garden blurred as tears filled her eyes and she allowed these to fall, the small drops marking the material of her trousers. She watched the wet stains grow and, not trusting herself to speak, nodded mutely.

Janet was right if she wanted to help Daniel now she had to treat him normally. She had to make her own life, she couldn't live Daniel's for him but she could make room for him in hers. She could be there for both him and Jack and be Major Samantha Carter as well.

"Dinner's ready" Cassie yelled from the doorway. Sam and Janet rose and went in to share a meal with their closest friends.

"Daniel and I made the salad," Cassie announced proudly as she placed the dish on the table.

"Well done" Janet enthused "my compliments to the chefs." Daniel and Cassie smiled conspiratorially at one another and Sam marvelled at the ease with which Daniel's contribution to the salad making was understood and accepted, he had merely been an advisor and observer but that role was important to everyone around the table.

The next morning Jack completed the daily routine, of heaving Daniel out of bed and into his chair. He then transferred him from the chair into the shower, helping him to wash, drying and powdering his unresponsive body and then thrusting it into clothes before heaving him back into his chair ready for the day ahead. He then had to shower, shave and dress himself, tidy the bathroom, make the bed and then go into the kitchen to get breakfast.

It was an exhausting start to the day for both Jack and Daniel but it had to be done each and every day. Daniel frequently begged Jack to get a carer in to get him up in the morning but unless he had to be at the SGC earlier than usual he preferred to do everything himself. On bad days he wondered how long he would be able to keep it up. He wasn't getting any younger and Daniel wasn't going to get any better. He knew that Daniel had the same thoughts but by tacit agreement they would continue as long as they could and face the next hurdle in their lives together only when they had to.

Once ready Jack headed for the kitchen only to stop in the doorway surprised to see Daniel at the table eating scrambled eggs and Sam at the stove.

"Hey isn't that my job?" he joked as he stood next to Sam to see what she was cooking.

"Sit down Jack" Sam ordered as she placed some strips of bacon on a plate alongside the scrambled egg. Jack did has he was told, smiling across at Daniel. He noticed that Daniel had his special spoon strapped to his hand and realised, with surprise, that Sam must have done this for him.

Since her arrival Sam had been trying really hard to get into the swing of life with Jack and Daniel but this was the first time she had actually had a hand in Daniel's care. It was a big step forward for both her and for Daniel Jack realised and he winked at Daniel as Sam placed the plate of food in front of him.

"This is great" Jack said tucking in with gusto "it's not often we have the full works is it Danny?" he looked across at his partner who paused in raising a spoonful of egg to his mouth.

"Jack's a dab hand with oatmeal" Daniel joked.

"Yeah well at least you can keep it on the spoon" Jack retorted.

"Jack you can't get it off the spoon" Daniel laughed returning to his egg.

Sam sat down between the two and poured Jack a cup of coffee. Placing the coffee pot back on the mat she lifted Daniel's cup, complete with straw, and offered him a drink.

Daniel bent his head slightly and placed the straw between his lips sucking up the delicious brew.

"And she makes good coffee" he commented, letting the straw slip from his lips to signify that Sam could replace the cup on the table.

They ate in companiable silence for a while before Sam dropped her next bombshell of the morning.

"If you are going into the SGC today Jack I thought Daniel and I could go out for a walk and get lunch somewhere." She paused as both Jack and Daniel stopped what they were doing and gazed at her.

"If that's OK," she added waiting anxiously for their response. She had been formulating this plan most of the night. It was a way of giving Jack a break, knowing Daniel was well looked after and it would give her and Daniel a chance to talk about her next little plan.

Jack and Daniel exchanged glances.

"I don't know...." Jack began knowing how sensitive Daniel was about close friends having to have hands-on dealings with his disability. He was stopped when Daniel interrupted.

"I think that's a great idea Sam" he smiled, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Jack's face willing him to go along with the idea.

"Well if you're sure Danny" Jack finally said "it'll give me chance to catch up on some paperwork."

"Great that settled then," said Sam, pouring Jack some more coffee.

"What time do you think you'll be back?" Jack asked anxiously.

Sam appeared to consider this question despite the fact that she had already worked everything out in her head.

"Shall we say sometime before six?" she suggested watching as Jack's eyebrows rose.

She continued "and don't worry about dinner tonight Daniel and I will get it while we're out" she promised.

"OK" Jack said as the day's plans were made "I'll see you kids later" he picked up his car keys and kissing Daniel headed towards the door.

Sam got up and followed him, keen to reassure him that everything would be OK.

"Can you manage the van?" Jack asked handing her the keys. She nodded "Daniel can instruct me" she took the keys from Jack. "He'll be fine Jack" she whispered "don't worry."

Jack nodded and with a final wave in Daniel's direction he headed off to the SGC sure as hell that he wouldn't get a scrap of work done for worrying about the two of them.

* * *

Sam and Daniel cleared the breakfast dishes, or rather Sam cleared most of them while Daniel helped by painstakingly managing to get his own dish and spoon from the table onto his lap and then propelling himself over to the dishwasher slowly loaded it in. It took an age, Sam could have whipped it off the table and into the dishwasher in seconds but the look of pride on Daniel's face when he completed the task was worth leaving it to him she decided.

"Shall we go?" Sam asked grabbing her bag and the van keys Jack had left.

"I'd better take a sweater," Daniel decided propelling himself into the bedroom. Sam followed him.

"Can you manage?" she asked casually sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as Daniel manoeuvred his chair over to the closet, hooked the door open with his good hand and selected a sweater from the neat pile on the shelf.

"Might need help getting into it" Daniel admitted leaving the sweater lying on his lap. Sam nodded and took the sweater from him and then paused. Little did she realise what a huge step this was for Daniel to take. After their talks since her return Daniel had come to realise that he had to open himself up to his friends in order to give Jack the rest he desperately needed. Allowing Sam to help him put his sweater on was going to be the first step of many along that road.

"Is there any particular way I should do this?" she asked holding the item up in front of her and looking to Daniel for instructions.

Daniel considered it for a moment "Well Jack usually rams my arms into the sleeves and then tucks my head into it" he explained "but whatever suits you" he added.

Sam would never have believed it could be so difficult to put a sweater on someone. She had dressed Cassie lots of times when she was a baby but inserting small chubby baby arms into a sleeve was a piece of cake compared to struggling with Daniel's flaccid, paralysed limbs. She didn't want to hurt him but even though he assured her it was fine she was frightened to pull and tug at his unresponsive arms. A couple of times the Velcro on his wrist support caught on the sweater material and she had to take his arm out again in order to release it. She gritted her teeth and prepared to continue the struggle when a noise, like a sob, came from Daniel. Her blood ran cold, God she had hurt him she thought, but when she looked up to apologise she saw that Daniel was actually trying not to laugh.

Sam stopped where she was with one of Daniel's arms threaded through the sweater sleeve and the other half way in and sank down on the floor.

"God why can't I do this" she moaned as Daniel gave in and burst into peals of laughter. After a moment Sam joined him the sweater forgotten for the moment.

"And I always thought you were a scientific genius who could solve the problems of the universe" Daniel spluttered.

"I don't know how Jack manages" Sam admitted, wiping tears of laughter away "it's got me beat."

"Don't worry Jack has had me tied up tighter than a Mastdang on Abydos loads of times" Daniel confided laughing again at Sam's frustration.

"OK let's tame this critter" Sam yelled jumping up and eventually succeeding in getting the sweater on Daniel to both their satisfaction.

Let's hope I have less trouble with the van Sam thought as she followed Daniel down the ramp or this is going to be a very long and very tiring day.

She did have less trouble; machinery was obviously easier to tame that wool she thought wryly as she buckled the last strap to secure Daniel in the van before jumping into the driving seat.

They had decided to head for the park to start with. Sam had decided that some nice fresh air and exercise would do Daniel good. She hadn't taken into account that Daniel's chair wasn't much good on grass or rough surfaces but they managed to park near the path around the lake and Sam unloaded Daniel from the van.

"I'm sorry I forgot about the surfaces," Sam admitted as Daniel struggled to propel himself across the uneven parking area until he reached the asphalt surface of the path.

"I keep telling Jack to look out for a nice little planet where the whole surface is asphalt" Daniel joked "then we could emigrate there."

Daniel felt for Sam. He knew how difficult it had been for him to come to terms with, what one therapist had described as his mobility-impairment. He now didn't walk and didn't drive, he rolled. Seated in his frame of black painted aluminium with twelve inch wheels at the back and eight inch wheels at the front and steering with a joystick under ideal conditions he could manage 4.9 miles per hour on a good surface. If he wanted to go faster or farther he had to roll onto a platform that, with the flip of a couple of switches, deposited him wheelchair and all in the back of the van where whoever was the driver, tied him down before taking off.

"Well we can at least get round the lake" Sam peered into the distance making sure the surface was suitable.

"It's OK I can manage on grass and gravel a bit" Daniel consoled her "but it's a good thing rugged individualism isn't high on my list of personal virtues anymore." He laughed and pushed the joystick forward "Come on then, race you" he called over his shoulder as he set off with Sam in hot pursuit.

About half way around the lake Sam spied a bench and headed for it and Daniel followed.

"Shall we sit a while" she suggested and then stopped, horrified at her gaffe. Daniel pretended not to notice, it happened all the time, she would, as others had, get over the embarrassment of making a remark, that to an able bodied person would mean nothing but held all sorts of implications for a disabled person.

He manoeuvred his chair so that he was sitting next to her facing the lake. They sat in silence for a few minutes enjoying the peace and quiet and watching the ducks.

"This is nice" Daniel murmured his head back and his eyes closed, letting the breeze play with his short hair. He opened his eyes and looked at Sam "I don't make the effort to get out all the often" he admitted "except to the SGC and the hospital and stuff."

"Does Jack work every day?" Sam asked. Daniel nodded "most days, yes but not all day" Daniel tried to explain their routine.

"By the time he's got me up and ready and then himself and then tidied the house it's nearly mid morning before we get to the mountain." Daniel paused, looking across the lake "then some days I have to go for therapy so we leave early and then he has to do the whole routine in reverse once we get home."

"He must get tired" Sam commented, watching Daniel's face carefully.

Daniel nodded "I hate what I'm doing to him Sam but I feel safe with him" he admitted adding "I get frightened if anyone else tries to heave me about and I hate myself for feeling like that. I know he's tired but he knows what I'm like and so he won't get anyone else in unless he really has to."

"I know Janet's told me," Sam explained.

"I want to do something to help him Sam but how the hell can I?" Daniel asked gesturing to his hunched and powerless frame and the chair that encased it.

"Daniel I have an idea."

Sam and Janet had talked the 'idea' through yesterday and, so long as Daniel and T'ealc would play along it should work. Janet had been detailed to contact T'ealc and Sam had to convince Daniel, once they had both agreed it would be fait accompli and Jack would just have to go along with it.

Sam and Daniel sat in the pale sunshine discussing the plan. Daniel had liked it and hadn't taken as much convincing as Sam and Janet had thought he might. He might be crippled and immobilised in a wheelchair and frightened for the future but inside he was still the adventurous archaeologist who had travelled across the universe and Sam's enthusiasm managed to tap into the 'old' Daniel Jackson.

"So what do we do next?" Daniel asked when everything had been explained to him.

"We wait for Janet to let us know that T'ealc's with us and then tomorrow when we all meet up at O'Malley's we hit Jack with the plan." Sam looked at her watch "Hell Daniel its lunchtime and we haven't eaten or planned for tonight's meal yet" she reminded him.

They decided they didn't have enough time to go through all the rigmarole a restaurant would involve and so they had bought hot dogs and coffee from a van parked near the park gates and had sat enjoying the remainder of their outing together while munching away.

"Mmmm this is good" Daniel had mumbled through a mouthful of hot dog.

"Not too healthy thought" Sam reminded him, wiping tomato sauce from her lips and then his "but who cares" she added smiling at how much Daniel seemed to be enjoying himself.

When they had finished lunch the pair trawled around the local supermarket deciding what to cook for their evening meal. It might have seemed a mundane outing to lots of people but to Daniel, used to doing all their shopping via the Internet, it was a great adventure and Sam was just happy to see how much Daniel seemed to be enjoying himself.

"It's not often I can do something for Jack" he admitted, pointing to some fresh pasta for Sam to drop into their basket. Sam dutifully followed Daniel around the store, carrying the basket and reaching for anything he couldn't manage. Eventually they had the makings of their evening meal and headed home to surprise Jack.

* * *

"Honey I'm home" Jack yelled as he unlocked the front door. He had forced himself to remain at his desk until six o'clock to give Sam and Daniel their day together but he had worried all day and truth be told hadn't done much work at all. He kept imagining all the things that could have gone wrong. What if Daniel had fallen, what if he needed a toilet and couldn't manage, what if he'd overdone it and made himself ill. Any and every scenario that could have taken place and some that couldn't possibly have happened passed through Jack's mind as he sat at his desk. He told himself that these two people had travelled across the universe of numerous occasions but it was still a relief when the clock finally crept round and he was able to justify dashing home.

"Welcome home Jack" Sam was the first to greet him as he entered the house, immediately looking around for his partner.

"Where's Daniel" Jack asked unable to contain himself any longer.

"I'm here" Daniel motored into view and Jack's breath caught in his throat at the sight of his lover. The fresh air had certainly done Daniel good, he had a fresh bloom to his cheeks caused by the light breeze and the sunlight but besides that Daniel looked different, more alive.

Jack crouched beside the wheelchair and stroked Daniel's cheek.

"Had a good day?" he asked, Daniel nodded "I've had a great time Jack," he confirmed before launching into a detailed description, starting with the recalcitrant sweater and finishing with the trip to the supermarket.

Jack smiled, he was pleased to see Daniel so animated. He would be exhausted soon Jack knew from experience but Sam had obviously had a beneficial effect on him and Jack silently thanked her for that.

Sam and Daniel kept their secret to themselves. They had regaled Jack with tales of their trip out throughout dinner and then Sam had insisted that Jack put Daniel to bed while she cleared up. Once the kitchen was set to rights she too her cell phones and sat out on the porch to call Janet Fraiser and check how her half of the plan was going.

* * *

It had been planned for a while that the members of SG1 would go to O'Malley's for a meal while Sam was in town. Janet had contacted T'ealc, with the permission of General Hammond, and he would be coming through the Gate this afternoon. This would give her time to fill him in on her and Sam's plan and, if he agreed, they could spring this on Jack tonight at dinner. She smiled to herself as she anticipated the look on Jack's face when he was presented with their plan.

It was Janet Fraiser, in regular contact with Sam, who had finally persuaded her to come back for a visit. She had kept her up to date on Daniel's condition and how Jack was coping but, as his doctor, she also knew that Jack desperately needed a break. She and Daniel had discussed this often but there seemed no way to persuade him to leave Daniel to the care of others and get away for a while.

Once Daniel had accompanied Jack to the cabin for some fishing. This was while Daniel was still mobile but on their second day there Daniel had tripped and fallen down the cabin steps, banging his head and scraping his knees and Jack had insisted on packing up and taking him straight back to the Base infirmary. Daniel had been furious with himself for spoiling the trip and had tried to persuade Jack to go back, promising to be careful but Jack had obstinately refused. They had returned home and settled back into their routine, which had grown more arduous as Daniel's condition had deteriorated. At first Jack was happy to have a local agency, recommended by Janet, provide a carer to get Daniel up and dressed each morning while he went to work at the SGC but one day this care apparatus had broken down.

* * *

Jack got up and left for work at 7.15 a.m. confident that the carer would arrive at 8 a.m. as usual. Daniel awoke and waited drowsily for the carer to arrive and when he seemed to have been waiting an inordinate length of time he turned to squint at the bedside clock and was alarmed to find it reading 9.30 a.m.

Daniel immediately realised he was in trouble. Because the carer was expected at the usual time Jack hadn't left the portable telephone within Daniel's reach. It became obvious to Daniel that no one was coming to help him and he was going to be alone until 6 p.m. when Jack was due to arrive back. Daniel's bladder was telling him that unless he wanted to spend the day in a wet bed he was going to have to do something about it.

He reached for the controls for the electric bed and lowered his feet and raised his head as far as it would go. The next part was tricky since he had to work his legs over the edge of the bed and push his trunk upright. One false move would pitch him onto his back like a beetle or forward into a heap on the floor; in either case he would be stuck there for hours.

Once he had carefully managed that he stretched his fingertips to just reach the controls of the wheelchair, which glided forward. He managed to shift himself from the mattress to the cushion and made it to the bathroom just in time.

While in the kitchen drinking the carton of apple juice he had managed to open he formulated a bold plan. He had often wondered whether he could manage on his own, and to what extent but Jack had never been willing to let him. Here now was a fortuitous occasion to test his capabilities without giving anyone fits. He decided he would not merely dress himself but would take a shower as well.

Not an adventure on a grand scale he thought wryly but it took the concentration of walking a tightrope without the safety net. The myriad of small actions that most people would perform all but unconsciously taxed Daniel's ingenuity. Once in the shower he had to work out how to drape the towel over the chair, taking hold of the corners and flicking it out were impossible but he found new motions to replace it.

Finally he was ready for the shower itself, cold water unfortunately. He hated cold showers but knew how heat aggravates MS symptoms. Getting out of the shower and back into the chair was the scariest part of the operation. The tile floor was slippery and wet under his feet creating a vertiginous instant between letting go of one grab bar and grasping another. Daniel gave a silent prayer of thanks as he landed with a plunk in his wheelchair. He then realised that, with the towel underneath him to protect the chair, he had nothing with which to dry himself. Luckily it was a warm day and he allowed the air to do the job for him. A sprinkling of talc, a splash of deodorant and an almighty struggle with boxers, sweats and T-shirt and he was as presentable as he was going to be.

By the time this mammoth operation was complete Daniel was feeling hungry. Usually the carer would prepare something and leave it handy but today Daniel would forage for himself. After a struggle he got the refrigerator door open and found a tub of cottage cheese, which he managed to open and which, with some crackers did nicely for lunch.

Eventually showered, dressed and fed Daniel was seated in front of the computer, limp but victorious. He could hardly wait for Jack to get home so that he could gloat.

Jack was horrified when he came home and found out what had happened. They both realised that the efforts weren't a wise use of Daniel's limited resources and repeating them, no matter how cautiously, would make a serious mishap more and more likely. Daniel admitted that he owned much of the triumph of the day to pure luck and agreed never to try it again.

This was the very last occasion that Jack left Daniel alone for more than a couple of hours. After berating the agency and changing to a new one Jack would never actually leave the house until the carer arrived despite Daniel promising faithfully never to try to manage alone again.

* * *

Knowing the evening out was going to deplete his strength Daniel had agreed to remain in bed most of the day to conserve his energy. Jack had put everything Daniel had requested within arms reach before going into the SGC for a meeting with General Hammond and Sam had promised to stay in the house in case Daniel needed anything.

General Hammond, in on the little plan that was being hatched, managed to keep Jack in the meeting until T'ealc was through the Gate and ensconced in Janet Fraiser's office. Janet explained the plan to the Jaffa whose face remained impassive as ever throughout.

"Well what do you think?" she asked.

"I would be very happy to assist you in your plans Doctor Fraiser" T'ealc said, "so long as these plans are not detrimental to DanielJackson's wellbeing," he added.

"No everything is under control" Janet reassured him "and Daniel is in on everything as well."

T'ealc nodded and then his face broke into a huge smile "I thought never to undertake a fishing trip with the Colonel again but I will do so if, in your medical opinion, it is necessary to maintain his health."

Janet laughed, "It is a great sacrifice you are making T'ealc," she agreed. The Jaffa bowed his head and so the Major, the Doctor, the Archaeologist and now the Jaffa were all in on the plan to dupe the Colonel.

The phone rang just as Sam and Daniel were playing Scrabble and Sam jumped up to answer it.

Daniel waited expectantly, only hearing one side of the conversation was frustrating, but when Sam burst into peals of laughter he guessed that T'ealc was on board. He raised his eyebrows questioningly and Sam gave him the thumbs up sign while continuing her conversation.

"See you at O'Malley's about seven then" Sam finished the call and replaced the receiver.

"All systems go Daniel," she reported bending over and planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Jack's going to go ballistic" Daniel replied smiling up at his co-conspirator.

Jack finally met up with T'ealc in General Hammond's office.

"Sorry I wasn't there to meet you" he apologised as he hugged his old friend.

"It is of no significance O'Neill Dr Fraiser was most hospitable" he replied noting how tired his old CO looked. Dr Fraiser was right he thought to himself the break would do him good.

* * *

Jack left T'ealc to catch up with old friends on the Base, on the understanding that Janet Fraiser would bring him to the restaurant, while he drove home early in order to get Daniel up and ready for the night out. Sam had offered to help but Daniel was still a little uncomfortable with this idea and Jack, stubborn as ever, was sure no one could shower and dress his partner as well as he could. Sam would have agreed that he was probably right but she knew she would have to learn to manage somehow and although Daniel had professed to being slightly embarrassed at the thought of Sam and Janet undressing him he now realised that he would just have to push those thoughts to the back of his mind and let them get on with it. It's not as if I'm in a position to do anything about it anyway he thought to himself.

By seven o clock Janet and T'ealc were waiting outside O'Malley's for Jack's van to pull up. Jack had finally agreed, surprised at Daniel's insistence, for him to let Sam help dress him and things had somehow taken a little longer as Sam and Daniel seemed to find everything so damned amusing. Eventually they pulled up outside the restaurant and when the van ramp had lowered Daniel propelled himself off the ramp to be enveloped in a hug by the diminutive doctor and then his old friend stepped forward with tears in his eyes.

"It is indeed a pleasure to be in your company once again DanielJackson" T'ealc intoned.

"It's great to see you again T'ealc" Daniel responded as T'ealc bent down and threw his arms around his old comrade and kissed him soundly on both cheeks.

"Wow" was all Daniel could manage as the others tried to hide their mirth.

"OK" Jack managed to splutter, "shall we go in?" The teammates entered their old stomping ground together looking forward to a very pleasant and interesting evening.

They were well into the dessert trolley and the third bottle of wine when Sam dropped her bombshell.

"Do you two ever get away on holiday?" she asked casually looked from Jack to Daniel and back again.

"Not for a while" Daniel admitted

"Sam you know the score" Jack relied testily, annoyed that she had even brought the subject up.

"I wouldn't mind a trip," Daniel continued, not daring to look at Jack "what about you Jack?"

"Where do you want to go Daniel?" Jack asked surprised that Daniel had never broached the subject before. When they had talked about getting away for a few days Daniel had always insisted that it was too much trouble and the subject had been dropped.

"I thought I might go to Las Vegas" Daniel announced as Jack's jaw dropped open.

"Las Vegas where the hell has that come from?" Jack asked totally amazed at what his partner was saying.

"Janet and Sam are going to take me there" Daniel continued to amaze Jack every time he opened his mouth.

"What the hell is going on?" Jack asked looking at his friends around the table "am I missing something here?"

"Indeed you are missing something O'Neill" T'ealc interjected "You are missing fishing trips I believe."

Jack's face was a picture and it was a little while before Janet and Sam had outlined their plans to him.

"No, never, not on your life" he said as soon as Sam had finished speaking.

He turned to his partner and lover "What the hell are you thinking about Daniel?"

Daniel patiently explained that Janet and Sam were taking a little vacation to Las Vegas and that they wanted Daniel to come along. They were both quite capable of managing his care and the resort was well equipped for disabled visitors. Meanwhile T'ealc and Jack would take a long overdue fishing trip to Jack's cabin and give Jack change to relax and recharge his batteries.

"I'll come to Vegas as well," Jack announced.

"No you won't Jack" Daniel insisted "Look you need a break, taking care of me 24-7 is killing you and I don't want to be held responsible when you finally break down" Daniel said, reaching out to hold Jack's hand and pleading with those beautiful blue eyes.

Jack held Daniel's steady gaze unable to believe what he was hearing.

"I need you Jack" Daniel whispered "but I need you fit and healthy."

Jack nodded silently as Daniel added quietly "you're my life Jack."

Jack looked around the table at his friends; he was tired he would admit that and he remembered how alive and well Daniel had looked after just a day in the park with Sam. He needed a change as well.

"OK when do we leave?" Jack finally capitulated and everyone smiled with relief. The plan was a go.

* * *

It took a few days to get the flights organised and some suitable accommodation booked and during that time Jack gave Sam a crash course in caring for Daniel with Janet popping in as well. Despite being a medical practitioner Janet had little experience in the day to day care of a disabled person and it made Sam feel a little better that they were 'in it together' and she just hoped that Daniel's new found faith in their abilities would be well founded.

It had been arranged that Jack and T'ealc would leave for their fishing trip on the Sunday afternoon and that Sam, Janet and Daniel would get ready and fly out late the following morning. They had worked out that this would give them time to get ready and fly out and have time to get settled into their hotel before Daniel became too tired.

Daniel had joked that Jack seemed to be the most reluctant fisherman he had ever seen as he watched Jack miserably packing the car with T'ealc for their trip.

It was true Jack was filled with foreboding at this little adventure but was going along with it all to please Daniel. True he knew he needed a break but he was worried about leaving Daniel. He trusted Sam and Janet to look after him but he was unsure that they really knew what they were taking on. Daniel was so excited, however, that Jack didn't voice his fears but made Daniel promise him faithfully that he would contact him if anything went wrong.

Daniel had promised but would have, if he could, crossed his fingers. After plucking up the courage to open himself up and allow his old friends to care for him he certainly had no intention of doing anything to curtail Jack's well-earned trip whatever might happen.

After finally waving Jack and T'ealc off Sam and Janet had thrown themselves into a flurry of activity, making lists and packing clothing and equipment. The next morning they managed to get Daniel up and ready for off in good time and heaved a sigh of relief as they booked in and settled in the departure lounge at the airport awaiting their flight.

Daniel hadn't been in an airport since he had started using a chair and by the time they eventually boarded the plane he was ready for going over the emotional top. His daily routine had, for so long now, been carved in stone that he was sorry to have to admit that he was used to his life as it was and didn't realise he might not be able to cope with its disruption. The first thing that threw him was the realisation of his physical helplessness when he had to be transferred into a collapsible, manual wheelchair. Without his batteries he couldn't move an inch on his own, his personal version of amputation. Everything an able bodied person took for granted was another problem for someone in a wheelchair. The perceived embarrassment at the security gate, where he had to wait to be wheeled through and both he and his chair scanned by a stone-faced guard taxed his resolve. The loading into the plane before the other passengers, changing from his manual Pogon chair into a narrow aisle chair and then being rolled to his allotted seat by two of the ground crew. Then, because the arms of the seats didn't lift out of the way, they had to heave him over and dump him in his seat like a sack of grain.

Sam and Janet maintained an aura of competence during all this never once giving any indication that they were, like Daniel, appalled by the system. They understood Daniel's frustration and anxieties and tried to do all they could to keep his spirits up by talking about their vacation plans, telling silly jokes and pointing out weird traits in the other passengers.

Eventually they arrived at their destination and, after a frustrating wait until all the other passengers had disembarked and Daniel had undergone the indignity of the loading again in the unloading procedure, they eventually managed to find the mini van they had booked that could cope with a wheelchair and were soon on their way towards their hotel. They had chosen the Bellagio as this was positioned centrally on the Strip and had disabled facilities. By the time they had arrived at the hotel, booked in and found their room both Sam and Janet could see that Daniel had reached his mental and physical limit for the day. Sam suggested that they order a meal from room service and relax for the rest of the evening and it was testament to how Daniel felt that he didn't argue with this suggestion at all.

While Sam ordered some food and unpacked their gear Janet helped Daniel get undressed and into bed. They decided to leave showering him until the following morning when he was rested. Once settled in bed and propped up securely with a myriad of fluffy pillows Daniel looked better, he was still pale and the smudges under his blue eyes were in evidence but he assured them that he would be fine by morning.

They spent a companionable evening eating and drinking, reading through various guidebooks and brochures and Janet even found a channel on the TV that gave gambling lessons, which they watched avidly.

By ten o'clock Janet and Sam were also feeling tired. It had been a long, stressful day and they were both beginning to release what Jack had to deal with on a regular basis. Sam nudged Janet and pointed to Daniel who was fast asleep. They turned the TV off and dimmed the lights. They had booked two twin-bedded rooms theorising that they would take it in turns to share with Daniel so that one could be 'on call' and the other could get a good nights' rest, the next night they would alternate. Janet had lost the toss and so she took the bed next to Daniel while Sam, having made her goodnights, headed off to the adjoining room for an uninterrupted nights' sleep.

* * *

The three all felt much better the following morning. They sailed through Daniel's morning routine and the pair of them soon had him showered, dressed and sitting in his chair ready for the day ahead. The general consensus was that they would head down to the bottom end of the Strip and work their way back up to their hotel, taking in all the different themed hotels on the way. Luckily the public bus than ran along the length of the Strip had facilities for a chair bound person to wheel straight on to the bus and park in a designated space. Daniel was thrilled with this, it afforded him a measure of independence he didn't have back home and his smiles of pleasure as he propelled himself on and off this bus delighted Sam and Janet.

They started off at the Manderley Bay hotel, bypassing the casino and heading straight for the Aquarium. After that they boarded the monorail outside the hotel and headed to the Luxor. Daniel had been particularly keen to see this one; built in the shape of a pyramid with a huge sphinx in the doorway it gave the visitor the impression of being in Ancient Egypt. Inside were massive statues and, to Daniel's amazement, a replica of King Tut's tomb which they slowly made their way through. This replica caused the three great hilarity as Daniel pointed out all the mistakes and tried to explain to his companions what the real tomb and its treasures were like. Soon they had collected quite a following of other visitors listening avidly to Daniel's descriptions. He had been slightly embarrassed when he had realised what an audience he had amassed and the round of applause they gave him at the end of his tour brought a blush to his cheeks.

By the time they had seen the first two hotels to their mutual satisfaction Janet had suggested that they find somewhere for lunch. Sam had read in one of the guidebooks that the 'all-you-can-eat' buffet at the Aladdin hotel was considered the best in Las Vegas and so they boarded the bus outside the Luxor and headed off for lunch.

The buffet was, as Sam had predicted, amazing. There was a huge selection of dishes from all over the world. Daniel propelled himself around looking at all the food before Sam and Janet deposited him back at their table and tried to remember his order for lunch. Daniel sat back and enjoyed a spot of people watching while the girls were gone. He was amazed at how many disabled people there seemed to be, perhaps not quite as bad as himself he thought wryly but lots of people in wheelchairs with varying degrees of disability, some more obvious than others. In a strange way it made him feel more comfortable. Back at home he never saw anyone else in a chair and considered himself a bit of a freak show when he went out. Jack had assured him that no one gave him a second glance but he knew what he looked like, hunched in his electric chair, trundling around at a snail's pace and he knew Jack was just trying to be kind.

Janet tried to persuade Daniel to go back to their hotel for a rest after lunch but he insisted he was fine and was determined to 'do' the MGM Grand and see the lions before admitting defeat for the day. They crossed the Strip by way of the overhead bridge, pausing to watch the crowds below them, before entering the hotel and heading for the lions.

There were two male lions in the compound that afternoon and Daniel and Sam posed under the Perspex arch while Janet took their photographs with the lions lying right above their heads. They spend a while just watching the magnificent beasts, glad to read that they didn't spend long in this compound but lived on a ranch outside the city most of the time.

Daniel then wanted to go in Paris, next door, but Janet put her medical foot down and insisted that, if he wanted to go out after dark to see the lights and try his luck at the casino, he would have to rest for a while. Sam had joined forces with Janet and Daniel knew he was beaten. They headed back to the Bellagio and Daniel had to admit he was relieved to be lifted back onto the bed and was soon asleep.

* * *

Meanwhile at the lakeside in Minnesota Jack was finally settling down to enjoy himself as much as he could without Daniel. When they first arrived he had been morose and slightly annoyed with himself. T'ealc had stood stoically by allowing Jack to rant and rave about Daniel's irresponsibility and Janet and Sam's underhandedness. Eventually, realising it was getting him nowhere; Jack had poured himself a generous glass of whisky and had slumped down on the couch.

"Tell me all your news T'ealc," he ordered and the Jaffa, knowing it would help his old friend to take his mind off his missing partner talked more than he usually did.

The following morning Jack had apologised to T'ealc for his behaviour of the previous evening.

"There is no need to request my forgiveness O'Neill" T'ealc insisted, "I understand your concern for DanielJackson."

"It's just that I should be with him" Jack tried to explain, "I should be the one caring for him."

"Are not Doctor Fraiser and Major Carter fulfilling that function?" T'ealc asked knowing full well what Jack was trying to say but hoping that by getting him to verbalise his feelings, he might be able to let go of them and enjoy his trip.

Jack sat in silence for a while, trying to put his innermost thoughts and feelings into words. Jack was never comfortable talking about feelings except with his lover but if he had to do the caring and sharing thing T'ealc was the next best thing to Daniel as a sounding block.

"I don't find it easy to relinquish my care giving role" he finally admitted "but as Daniel's condition deteriorates I can't take on more without getting tired and grumpy and that's not fair on Daniel."

"Does DanielJackson never complain?" T'ealc asked.

"Oh yeah he can be quite outspoken about his wants" Jack reflected, "and if they're not met he complains," he paused and then added quickly " and why shouldn't he?" If his incontinence pad is crooked, if his pillow needs adjusting, if his clothes are uncomfortable." Jack shook his head wearily "I try to imagine what it must be like to have so little control over such simple everyday circumstances but I can't."

"So you think it is 'fair' for DanielJackson to complain but not 'fair' for you to do the same," T'ealc asked.

"Hell T'ealc he's a helpless cripple why shouldn't he complain?" Jack yelled. T'ealc remained calm as usual and continued his question and answer session.

"O'Neill do you think DanielJackson enjoys seeing you grumpy and tired?" T'ealc continued.

"No I'm sure he doesn't" Jack replied, finally seeing what T'ealc was getting at.

"Then is it not sensible to allow someone else to care for him while you have a rest?" Jack laughed "T'ealc you've missed your way you should have been a Psychologist."

T'ealc raised an eyebrow but didn't respond and allowed Jack to continue.

"You're right, of course, I'm no use to Daniel if I resent what I have to do for him" Jack considered. "

He jumped to his feet "I bet Daniel is having a great time, in Las Vegas with two attractive women waiting on his every need." He grabbed his fishing gear and headed to the door "Come on T'ealc lets catch some fish" he ordered. T'ealc followed his friend and smiled to himself.

* * *

Back in Las Vegas the three friends were getting ready for a night out. Sam and Janet had got Daniel dressed and back into his chair and had then left him to his own devices while they dressed for the evening. When they came back into Daniel's room he turned his chair round to face them.

"Wow aren't I the lucky one" he exclaimed as the two women posed in front of him dressed to kill. Sam was wearing a midnight blue sequinned dress that clung to her shapely form. Her hair was shining in the light and small diamond drop earrings dangled from her ears, gleaming as they caught the light from the bedside lamps.

Janet, on the other hand, was dressed in a red satin trouser suit, which fitted her beautifully. The colour brought out the auburn highlights in her hair and she looked stunning.

"Let's hit the town ladies" Daniel ordered propelling himself towards the door and pausing to allow Sam to open it for him. They headed to the hotel lifts laughing and joking together and causing other guests to turn to admire the two women and wonder about the handsome young man in the wheelchair.

They had planned their evening entertainment before setting out and so on leaving the hotel headed immediately for the sidewalk in front of it to watch the 'dancing waters' show. After enjoying that they headed up to the Mirage to wait for the volcano to 'erupt.' From there Daniel had insisted they go to Treasure Island to watch the pirate battle. They got there early so they could get a good spot from which to view all the action.

The two women were enjoying themselves immensely. They knew they both looked attractive and were secretly pleased with the admiring glances they were getting. They were enjoying the amazing sights of the Strip and were pleased that they had managed to persuade Jack to let them bring Daniel.

Daniel was trying his best but no able bodied person could understand the mental and physical adjustments he had to make. He was enjoying himself and was delighted that he was able to get about so easily but there were still difficulties to be faced, some which could be overcome and others that he would just have to live with.

He was finding it slightly claustrophobic at waist height among the crowds outside the hotel and was fighting back panic as the crowd milled around him. For a moment he wished himself back in his bedroom at home with Jack lying next to him, safe and secure in the knowledge that whatever he couldn't do Jack would do for him. He took a deep breath, he had to do this, and he had to manage without Jack. This was the whole purpose of the trip to prove that others could manage his care and Jack could take a step back from the role of carer and be a lover, a partner, a friend, someone with a life of their own, someone would could come home and talk about things other than, incontinence pads, pressure sores, therapy sessions and the like.

Sam must have sensed Daniel's unease; she glanced down and was horrified to see how pale he sweaty he looked. She nudged Janet and the siren in the red trouser suit immediately changed into a doctor and dropped into a crouch next to Daniel's chair.

"Daniel are you OK?" she asked putting a cool hand against his forehead to check for a fever.

"I just need some air" Daniel admitted gesturing at the crowds around them. Janet understood at once. From her crouched position she could see exactly what Daniel was seeing, not the spectacle about to take place in front of them, not the bright lights of the hotels just crowds of bodies pressing in on every side.

"Sam let's move" Janet ordered, standing up and motioning for people near them to step back. Daniel manoeuvred himself through the crowds with an anxious Sam at his side and soon they found a quieter spot where Daniel could park his chair and regain his composure.

"Sorry" he finally said, wiping a hand across his face "the crowds were just a bit much" he admitted, taking a deep breath and laying his head back against the headrest and closing his eyes.

"No I'm sorry Daniel I should have realised" Janet admitted watching her patient carefully. Sam was sitting on the wall at the other side of Daniel looking worriedly from Janet to Daniel and back again.

Janet noticed her concern and reassured her "It's OK Sam Daniel just had a little panic attack" she explained.

Sam nodded her understanding and together the two women sat quietly allowing Daniel time to compose himself. After a few minutes he opened his eyes and looked back towards the hotel.

"I really wanted to see the show," he moaned, feeling silly that he had reacted so badly to the crowds.

"You will Daniel, you will" Sam promised. Both Janet and Daniel looked questioningly at her "I've got an idea" she said, "wait here."

While Sam was gone Janet took Daniel's hand on hers.

"Are you really OK Daniel?" she asked "Is all this too much?"

Daniel shook his head. "No Janet it's great really" he tried to reassure her.

"But it's a bit frightening at times," he finally admitted. Janet waited for him to continue.

"Most of the time I can accept what I am" he smiled weakly at his doctor and friend "but sometimes it hits me that this is my reality."

Janet swallowed a lump in her throat. She and Daniel had talked on many levels on many occasions but it was impossible for anyone else to understand the depths of the situation he found himself in.

"Some things I can accept" he continued "but it's the little things like being able to look at the world from the same height as everyone else, to go through a door without having to wait for someone to open it for me, being able to make myself a pot of coffee, even putting my own glasses on." He gave a scornful laugh, "stupid isn't it, I can bear being stuck in this chair and totally dependent on others for such intimate things as going to the toilet but I can't bear people standing up around me."

"No Daniel it isn't stupid" Janet insisted. "You are still you, granted you're trapped inside a crippled body but you are still essentially you," she explained. "It's natural to feel intimidated by some aspects of your life. Just because you're in a wheelchair doesn't mean you have to sit back and take what's thrown at you like a good little cripple." Daniel smiled "So it's OK to loose it occasionally?" he asked.

"You're damned right it is" Janet laughed back "now get that chair into gear and let's see what Sam's been up to" she ordered.

* * *

Back at the lake in Minnesota Jack had settled into his new routine and was enjoying himself more than he would have imagined. T'ealc on the other hand was enduring it for Jack and Daniel's sake. As he stood at the lakeside watching Jack fiddle with the fishing rod he contemplated various methods of removing the rod from Jack and hiding it for the remainder of their stay. T'ealc had never understood the fascination Jack had with fishing and after his one disastrous fishing trip with Jack when Daniel, Sam and Janet Fraiser went to Egypt after Osiris without them he had always managed never to accompany him again.

"Hey T'ealc crack open another beer buddy" Jack yelled at him from the shoreline and T'ealc, used in a past life to serving the false God Apophis, now reached into the cool box and opened another beer for his new lord and master while mentally counting down the days until they could return to the SGC.

* * *

When Sam returned to where Janet and Daniel were waiting she had a smile on her face.

"The next show is in ninety minutes" she told them "and I've booked us a table for dinner with a window overlooking the action" she added proudly.

It was an ideal solution, once the crowds had dispersed it was easy for Daniel to propel himself across the bridge and into the hotel where they settled themselves at their table, giving Daniel the best view, and ordered dinner while waiting for the next show.

"Thanks" Daniel said as Janet poured wine for them all.

"For what?" Sam asked, "getting this table, it was easy in this dress" she confided in her companions.

Daniel looked shocked at her revelation but Janet just sniggered and raised her glass.

"Women rule the world," she announced and she and Sam burst into fits of laughter. Daniel shook his head, he might be able to speak more than twenty languages and translate untold quantities of alien text, but he would never understand women he decided.

Janet held his glass of wine up so that he could take the straw between his lips. He sipped the cold white wine.

"Thanks for all this" he continued gesturing with his good arm.

Both women simultaneously leaned over and kissed him on both cheeks before once again dissolving into laughter. He blushed and quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

"Please" he begged, "what will people think?"

"They'll think you've won a million and we want a share of it Daniel" Sam laughed.

"Well I couldn't be happier if I had" Daniel said softly, surprising both his colleagues. He sensed their embarrassment at his remark and decided to lighten the atmosphere.

"To us" he announced indicating that Janet should raise his glass. The three smiled warmly at each other. Despite all the problems they would have a great time together.

* * *

And they did, they visited every hotel along the Strip, went to a couple of shows, did a little gambling and a lot of talking and laughing. On their last evening there they had decided to go to the Cocktail Lounge at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel at the far end of the Strip to watch the sun set and the lights come on.

It was a truly magical moment. As the sun dipped behind the mountains, bathing them in a red glow, the twinkling lights of the Strip came on one by one until the whole place was lit up.

They watched the spectacle in silence sipping their cocktails. Daniel likened the setting sun to the closing of one door in his life and the lights coming on to the opening of another. He considered telling Sam and Janet about this but thought they might think him soppy so he held the thought in his heart to share with Jack when he got home.

He had missed Jack terribly. He was glad he had come, he had had a great time and he knew Jack was enjoying the break because he had persuaded Sam to ring him yesterday just so that Daniel could speak to him and reassure himself that Jack was OK and to let him know that his carers were coping well.

The holiday had been a great idea and one he hoped they could repeat at some time. It had done him good both physically and psychologically to get away and to learn to cope with other people taking care of his basic needs but he was ready to go home now. This time tomorrow I'll be in bed with Jack he reminded himself and both Sam and Janet caught his smile and guessed what it was about.

* * *

T'ealc and Jack had arrived back home by lunchtime. Jack had been impatient to pack up and leave the cabin once dawn had broken. T'ealc had assured him that Daniel's flight wasn't due in until four o'clock but Jack insisted to driving as fast as he dare back to the home he and Daniel shared together.

By the time the van drew up outside the bungalow Jack was beside himself having paced the veranda for the past hour. The flight had been on time but it had taken a while to get Daniel unloaded and into his chair, get the luggage together, find the van, load Daniel into it and then tangle with the traffic from the airport.

As the van doors opened and the ramp slowly lowered Daniel to street level Jack was practically dancing about at the bottom. As soon as Daniel had manoeuvred his chair around Jack had him enveloped in a bear hug.

"Oh God it's good to see you" Jack murmured into Daniel's ear. Daniel raised his good arm and managed to hook it around Jack's neck, pulling him close so that he could smell the familiar and well-loved scent of Jack.

"I've missed you so much" Daniel confided kissing Jack's cheek, his warm lips holding the promise of more delights later.

Jack finally released his hold on Daniel and stepped back to take a good look at him. The holiday had certainly done him good, Daniel looked handsome and healthy despite the hunched and crippled body encased in the chair. He had a suntan and a glow about him that turned Jack's legs to jelly.

"God I love you so much" he said, not caring that T'ealc, Janet and Sam were within earshot.

Daniel laughed, "I'll have to go away more often," he teased noticing how well Jack looked. He too had a slight tan and looked less tired then when he had left. The break had obviously done them both good.

"Shall we go in or do we have to make a spectacle of ourselves in the street?" Daniel asked as he moved his chair forward, up the ramp towards the front door. Once inside he heaved a sigh of relief. It was good to be back on familiar ground.

Later that evening, when T'ealc, Sam and Janet had left, Jack and Daniel sat on the veranda together.

"I've learned a lot you know" Daniel confided in his lover.

"What's that?" Jack asked intrigued as to what Daniel was referring to.

"Oh you know, managing my life, that sort of thing."

Jack looked questioningly at Daniel "What's brought this on?" he asked surprised at Daniel's openness. Daniel had allowed himself to become totally dependent on Jack, afraid to allow anyone else into their world. Although he had begged Jack to get a carer that wasn't the same as allowing friends in to share the burdens and Daniel had stubbornly refused to accept the help of anyone else with an emotional involvement in his life.

"I have to 'take care' in all senses," Daniel admitted. "I have to accept the help of others and their offerings of aid and I have to work out right behaviours for whatever skills are left to me.

"Daniel?" Jack didn't know quite what his lover was getting at.

"Jack I know I need to be careful physically, I need to search out the line between doing as much as I can and taking silly risks that would jeopardise our life together" Daniel admitted. "I need to discipline myself to turn my body over to the care of other than you, I don't have to like it, I just have to do it."

"Daniel I'm back now" Jack reminded him "I'll be there for you all the time from now on" he promised.

"No you won't Jack and you can't" Daniel reminded him. "You have your life to live and I have mine, our paths may cross and even merge most of the time but we have to accept that they are separate paths and we must walk them ourselves." Daniel smiled at the analogy he had used. Jack could well walk his path in life but Daniel would roll along his.

Jack nodded and reached over to kiss his lover.

"Daniel you are beautiful," he whispered nuzzling Daniel's ear, knowing that this small gesture was a form of foreplay for the paralysed man.

Daniel pulled away slightly so that he could look Jack in the face.

"I'm going to visit Sam in Washington soon" he announced, adding "on my own."

Jack knew better than to protest. He smiled at his lover.

"Well if that's the case then I think I'll head up to the cabin for a few days, if that's OK with you," he casually suggested.

Daniel nodded and smiled. The two paths had converged once more and the couple would travel along them together as best they could.

"Come to bed" Jack suggested standing up and opening the door so that Daniel could roll into their bedroom. Once the door was closed behind them they were able show one another the extent of their love.

Later as they lay, content, in each other's arms. Jack and Daniel talked frankly about the future. Daniel shared his fears with Jack and Jack hugged him even tighter.

"I'll never leave you Danny," he promised, kissing his lover tenderly.

"We may not be married in the eyes of the law but the vows still stand" Jack assured him. Daniel looked questioningly at his partner in life.

"For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part" Jack recited.

Daniel nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Not many people were lucky enough to find the love of their life but Daniel was lucky. In love at least.

Finis


End file.
